I almost forgotten how my baby boy looks like. Until I came back to this website, and saw his lovely face looking back at me. :) I love him so dearly, I wish I knew how he was doing. I can't wait to see him again, and hold him in my arms. :(

I really wish he was here.

Happy 2nd birthday beloved baby.

It's been a good 2years now. Mummy's off at HK w grandma & aunty Jea & uncle Jon.

Also with Nashon, mummy's fiance.

We'd be heading to Ocean Park tml. & I'm excited :)

Mummy's gonna have my internship soon on 12th March which will run until 24th Aug. i pray it'd be a good & fun time!!

How've u been love? Mummy misses u as much as I did 2yrs ago. Im starting to talk alot more. Starting to open up myself more to people too. Nuggets very much a replacement of you. I dote on him a little too much though >< I think its because tts how I'd have loved you. I suppose by now u can speak & walk already? :) i'd have loved to see that. But I guess... The time's not right yet. Another... Few more years before seeing u i heaven. I'll miss u. Until the day I see u again. U're still my love, my first son. I wont ever deny u, and I can't wait to see u <3

Miss u baby boy.

Take care until I see u again :)

Eleo,

How've you been?
I Miss You so...

Christmas' around the corner again :)
It's time for joy and time for cheers!

Mummy's been studying and working for these few months.
But I still randomly think of you.

When I see other babies, when I hear people talk about babies.
When I see pregnant mummies, when I talk to people about pregnancy, you're all around.

Eleo, u rmb this person Nashon Jerrome?
Mummy use to talk to you about him.
Mummy got tgt w him, about 6mths ago...
He randomly came back. And Eleo, I've never been happier than now. 
I wish you were here with me. Then I'd really be happy, my family, would be complete.

Mummy recently got to know this girl who also happened to have given up her baby for adoption before.
But yet, she carries a completely different attitude towards her baby as comapred to me.

But I'm jealous of her.
The adoptive parents of her baby will write letter to her and tell her how is her baby.

Mummy has you so near but so far.
I actually am so closely inter-linked with you, but I don't know nuts about you.

Baby boy, u see how much I miss you?
I pray this Christmas, DaddyGod will let me see you again as He did last year.

I Miss You baby.
I Miss You so very much.

How do you know "MR Right" as the world defines him?
How do you know you've met with the "right one"?
How do you know he is the best for you?
How do you know there wouldn't be someone else better for you?
- Sweeter, Richer, Faster, More Handsome?

How do you react when the guy you love apologize for his past?
How do you react when he said he’s sorry whatever happened affected you?
How do you reject or accept such statements?
For one, he didn't ask for such past right?
But then again, he should have been “at his best” for you right?

How do you know when to pick up?
How do you know when to let go?

How do you know when to accept?
How do you know when to reject?

How do you know when to support?
How do you know when to be harsh?

For me, I live by faith.
Faith in the conviction God has placed in me.
Faith that when God says he is made for me, I'll accept it.
Faith that he has tried to make up for his past.
Faith that when I pciked up his love, he'd do his best.
Faith that when I accepted him, he never took it for granted.
Faith that when God tells me, “This man is crumbling”, I’d be able to pick him up.

Faith seems like the blindest thing to rely on, but yet, the only thing I can rely on.
A man I have known for 8years, liked for 8years.
A man I have waited for during these 8years, with blind trust that God would bring him back.
A man I have placed on a level so high he was like a dream.
A man I have looked up too and lived his ways since I could remember.
A man I once called guardian angel.
A man who always seem to turn up whenever I need him the most.
A man infront of, I cna be most relax.
A man that for 8 years I have spoke to him things that no one else knows.
A man that people always asked, “Why would a man 8years older than you want to have anything to do with you?”
A man no one ever understood why I waited for.
A man people usually tell me to give up, saying he don’t care.
A man that I carried hope base on the sentence, “I will be around to watch you until you graduate from university. By then, if you wanted to fly, I’d let you go.”
A man that for 8years, I was always worried he’d leave one day and really never come back.
A man that was what I always fantazied for.

- The perfect boyfriend who’d love me with all his heart, yet never afraid to correct me when I am wrong. He’d do anything stupid with me and not feel embarrassed. He’d protect me from the “bad guys”. He’d become fiercely protective towards people who’d try to get close to me. He’d have only me in his eyes. He’d have his heart beating for me only, after God. He’d stand infront of me to protect me in times of danger. He’d love what I love. He’d show me off to the world. He’d hold me in public and with my hands in his, tell his friends, “she’s my girl.” The kinda boyf I’d write in fairytales and imagine it to be true. The kinda boyf when I was scared as a child, wished he was lying next to me re-assuring me everything was good.

The man who once was a dream, is now real.
What more can I ask God for?

乐恩 ，两年前的今天，你还活在我怀里。
记得那天，我所有的不舒服。记得我一直想吐。把我搞得好不舒服。

去看了医生，起初以为是肚子不舒服，可是近过仔细的检查 医生说我怀孕了。

还记得那种开心带着一点不确定的感觉。
那种心怦怦跳的感觉。

兴奋得发个简讯给你爸，和他确定了你的存在。
问他下一步该怎么样。他只说，“等我下课再说”

哪一种紧张好南澳。
哪一种害怕他会不爱你的感觉。
哪一种知道可能失去你的心痛。

他终于下课了。
简单的发了短讯问我现在在哪儿？

遇见了，他只说，“打掉吧。我现在没钱，也不想为了孩子被绑下。”

乐恩，那一秒钟，你听见了我的害怕，我不肯相信的心跳吗？
你知道我一身最大的愿望是有自己的家庭吗？
你知道，他把我一身的梦想在那几给字里斯列了吗？

为了你，我坚强。
为了你，我让世界瞧不起。

这么做简单的应为爱你。
不该想起你。不该记得现在又到了七月。

乐恩，又是五号了。
你最近还好吗？
现在能走路了吗？
能叫爸爸妈妈了吗？

我好想你。想得真给心都痛了。